Dr. Raijo Taiso of the Tokyo Institute for Linguology has discovered a new taste. In addition to salty, sweet, sour, bitter and unagi (fresh water eel), Dr. Taiso found several clusters of previously unknown papillae. Dolorous papillae, which taste sadness, are found in the most embarrassed parts of the tongue. “If you’ve ever eaten at an elderly person’s buffet restaurant,” Dr. Taiso says, “and everything just tasted sad, that’s your dolorous buds at work!” Foods abundant in sadness include beets, millet, creamed corn, Velveeta and boiled cabbage. In fact, the longer cabbage is boiled, the sadder it tastes.

Noted furniture psychic Flora Spoils was born in her home town of São Paulo, Wyoming, where she teaches shibari knitting to the elderly.