Sep 23 2009 2:52pm

The Heart is a Lonely Vampire Hunter

Via Paul Tremblay and the Publisher’s Lunch newsletter:

Sarah Gray’s WUTHERING BITES, a retelling of Wuthering Heights in which Heathcliff is a vampire, to John Scognamiglio at Kensington, in a very nice deal, for publication in September 2010, by Evan Marshall at Evan Marshall Agency (World).

So it’s a trend now. Of course, the key to a successful supernatural update is that you should probably start with something out of copyright, because those authors are mostly dead and can’t come to your house in the middle of the night and beat you up. (Or can they…?)

But when I sent this around the office for a chuckle, we had some fun kicking around re-vamps (get it?!) of more recent books and then opened it up to Twitter (#PPZripoffs).

Ami: Me Talk Pixie One Day
Megan/Ryan: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genies, or, The Year of Magical Drinking
Ryan: A Beanstalk Grows in Brooklyn
Joshlandon: Of Mice and Watchmen
Mitzpa: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Sue_Moe: Tuesdays With Mordred

And the title for the image was from maretorliss.

JOIN US. Maybe here we can add descriptions, too? “A Farewell to Arms and Legs, by TaraLazar, pits WWI ambulance driver Frederic Henry against Catherine, the zombie who invaded his heart. And then ate it.”

Megan Messinger is a production assistant at, where her English has come in handy exactly five times.

Bill Siegel
1. ubxs113
The Wrath of Grapes
Interview with the Mortal
My Name is Asher Dead
The Zombie in the Rye
Horton Hears A Mutant
Torie Atkinson
2. Torie
Does Heart of Darkness count without any alterations?
Dan Sparks
3. RedHanded
Maybe just change it to the Braaaiiiinnsss of Darkness?
J. C. Hay
4. jchay
The Old Man and the Sea Serpent
To Kill a Mockery of Life - where Atticus Finch comes out of retirement to defend a zombified Bob Ewell
Torie Atkinson
5. Torie
@ 4 jchay

You, sir, need a Hollywood deal.
Liza .
7. aedifica
Call of the Wild Thing
Brave New World-Eating Alien Spaceships
A Connecticut Zombie in King Arthur's Court
Crime and Dismemberment
Richard Fife
8. R.Fife
War and (body) Pieces
The Dead Badge of Courage (with Audie Murphy reprising his role)
René Walling
10. cybernetic_nomad
Die unnatürliche Tochter (The Unnatural Daughter) by Goethe

Le Vampire imaginaire (The Imaginary Vampire) by Molière
Erika Nelson
11. Odessa_3
A Separate Piece of Me
A Tale of Two Cyborgs
Buried in this Good Earth
Andrew Wheeler
13. Andrew Wheeler
The Way of the End of the World
The History of Tom Jones, a Vampire
Clarissa, or the History of a Young Deep One
An Elegy Written Under an English Churchyard
A Sentimental Journey Through Hades and Ghenna
Poems, Chiefly in the Ghoul Dialect
On the Origin of Species of Werewolves
Two Lycanthropes of Verona

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