Apr 15 2009 5:12pm

Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

Dorian Wright and a collection of the blogosphere’s funniest writers create a collection of uncomfortable plot summaries, such as:

Sinbad-Uncomfortable Summary

BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.

DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.

LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.

And more at the link!

Richard Fife
1. R.Fife
Wow, these have me falling out of my chair, but this by far is my favorite:

FIREFLY: In an analogue of the post-Civil War west, a white man on the losing side bosses around a black woman.

I'm going to burn in hell, I'm sure of it.
James Goetsch
2. Jedikalos
ha ha this one is good:

RAMBO III: The United States provides arms, equipment and training to the terrorists behind 9/11.
3. Hatgirl
These made my day. Current favourite:

STAR TREK IV: Interplanetary fugitives poach wildlife from a past age to cover up an act of genocide
Iain Coleman
4. Iain Coleman
I have to say, this:

BLAKE’S 7: Terrorists fight government, die.

could have been written by any of the show's most ardent fans. Or indeed the showrunner.
lanyo lanyo
5. lanyo
Late to this party. I love the "unplanned pregnancy, leads to complication" for aliens AND rosemary's baby!! So rad.
Jared Kardos
8. darkknightjared
"BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group."

Let's not forget that he's half-vampire, so he's basically a self-loathing, bigoted drug addict (the serum) who kills without mercy every vampire he sees.

"CHASING AMY: Homosexuality proved to be passing fancy and sign of sexual deviance."

I have to disagree with that one. Joey's character said herself that she was more of a fluid orientation, and she came out best of the whole situation, when you consider the other two being a self-loathing homophobe and a guy who was willing to fuck said homophobe to gain Sexual XP like it's a video game.

"JUNO: Teen fails to get abortion, ruins lives."

Did she really ruin any lives? The only break-up was between the couple, and that, from the looks of it, was going to happen with or without her involvement.

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