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Stubby the Rocket

Oh, We Believe, Centaur Jeff Goldblum. We Believe

OK, as far as we can figure this out, tumblr-usr Snipurrs (who has since removed their page) found a picture of super sexy Jeff Goldblum, and noticed that, thanks to some lighting effects, looked a heck of a lot like a mythical man-horse. Then, because Tumblr, Snipurrs took the time to draw Jeff Golblum’s torso onto a lovely steed, thus granting us said mythical man-horse. And then the magnificent folks over at BoingBoing shared the ensuing motivational poster for the good of us all.

Morning Roundup shares some X-Files advice from Chris Carter himself, a peek into Hannibal‘s pantry, and news on The Sandman adaptation!

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Groovy.

Ash, it’s been far too long. Starz has released the first image from Ash vs. Evil Dead, and Bruce Campbell is still a stock boy, 20-odd years on, and looks appropriately bloody. We’ve never been happier to see a chainsaw in our lives.

Afternoon Roundup brings you the first round of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child theories, a discouraging timeline for more diversity in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and the best case of mistaken slash fanfic.

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We’re Not Sure We Want to Be Part of Her World…

Buzzfeed poses a fascinating question: we know Ariel grew up in the temperate Atlantic climate of Atlantica, but what if she had grown up in a more extreme aquatic kingdom? Taking into account that merpeople are probably fictional, we can still apply basic principles of biology to them, so aquatic evolutionary expert Joseph Shaw was able to make some great educated guesses about Coral Reef Ariel, Arctic Ariel, and (our personal favorite) Deep Sea Ariel. As Monique Steele‘s imagining shows us, she’s probably “grown long appendages to provide an enhanced sense of touch” in the utter absence of light, and she possibly developed bioluminescence “to attract potential mates or lure unsuspecting meals!” We got the spirit. You got to hear it. Under the sea.

Morning Roundup brings you a fascinating new lens to use when watching Back to the Future, looks back at 15 years of important television, and discovers the greatest Jurassic Park sequel yet!

[Plus, Cage of Thrones.]

Meet the Rogues Gallery Inside Your Head

Dan Hipp has done it again! We already loved how Inside Out personified our emotions, but there’s also something really fun about seeing familiar characters inserted into those roles. Here—that is, inside Batman’s tortured mind—you have Harley Quinn as Joy (because of course), Scarecrow as Fear, Poison Ivy as Disgust, Two-Face as Anger, and Mr. Freeze as Sadness. We would watch this rogues gallery sift through Bruce Wayne’s memories for ages.

Afternoon Roundup helps you take the most advantage of Leap Second 2015, tries not to cry hearing Adam Nimoy talk about For the Love of Spock, and then loses it over the most heartbreaking sentences in fantasy.

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Honoring Alan Turing With Pride

This weekend brought a wonderful slate of Pride-themed artwork and photographs, but this one got us right in the feels: People paid tribute to Alan Turing’s statue in Manchester, decorating it for Pride and leaving messages of love. Not nearly as much as the man deserved, but a wonderful small gesture.

Morning Roundup brings you a bonkers fan theory combining Indy and Vader, something you may never have noticed about Disney princesses, and a Star Trek confession.

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Go On a Blind Date with an SFF Book!

A Redditor found this great, slightly tongue-in-cheek display at an American bookshop in Amsterdam: Instead of judging a book by its cover or author, all you have to go on are keywords in making your decision. (Though we’re pretty sure that “Fantasy/Mississippi/Riverboat/Pale Gentlman” is Fevre Dream by George R.R. Martin.) Hat-tip to Neatorama for spotting this!

Afternoon Roundup brings you further treks into the stars, the lowdown on your new favorite hacker TV show, and how most female roles trace their way back to Sigourney Weaver and Alien.

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Garfield Minus Garfield Plus Lying Cat

We’re so glad that Geonn Cannon decided to share his dream—of Saga‘s Lying Cat taking over a Garfield strip—with us, first by tweeting about it, and then by delivering this amazing mashup. Because John always needs to be told off by a sassy feline, even if this one doesn’t like lasagna.

Afternoon Roundup brings you a cautiously optimistic take on AMC’s new robot drama, how the modern movie trailer came to be, and Emma Watson’s new nemesis.

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We Are Not Things, We Are Furious

First Dan Hipp made us ugly-cry over Robin reading Harry Potter, and now he makes us cheer: He’s rounded up a bunch of iconic badass women as the “Furious 7″—led by Furiosa, of course, with support from Brienne of Tarth, Ripley, Gamora, and others.

Afternoon Roundup brings you what Inside Out got right about memories, a nature documentary in the style of Michael Bay, and the harsh reality of being a Disney princess.

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Batman Cocktails Will Bring Your Thirst to Justice

It’s summer! And summer means frozen drinks and bright fizzy cocktails and, if you’re lucky, summer Fridays to enjoy them on! And maybe you know a person with roof access? And perhaps you can hang a sheet up on that friend’s roof and watch Batman: The Animated Series for hours and hours? Until your friend’s neighbors go mad and turn into supervillains because this is the One Bad Day that was the final straw they needed to push them over the edge? Anyway, if you do that, you’ll want these Batman-themed cocktails. Yummy.

Morning Roundup brings you zombie death! DIY dinos! And predicting the future with science fiction!

[Plus, A Song of Ice and Yoshis!]

Even Dinosaur Fossils Need Expert Wrangling

In the week since we introduced you to the greatest Jurassic World meme yet in the form of #PrattKeeping, the Internet’s zookeepers have run with it, with wonderful results. Perhaps our favorite comes from the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Natural History, where Dinosaur Curator Matthew Carrano has had a hell of a time setting up the new Fossil Hall. But then you have Chris Pratt himself reenacting the meme at a children’s hospital, which is heart-meltingly cute.

In today’s Afternoon Roundup, J.K. Rowling tells us why the Dursleys hate Harry, Taylor Swift is both a kind and ruthless ruler, and Google really does dream, though we haven’t spotted any electric sheep yet.

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A Tiger Tale as Old as Time

Quick, which fairy tale is this? If you think it’s a tiger-centric, even more awesome version of Beauty and the Beast, you are correct! South Korean artist Nayoung Wooh has taken some of our favorite Western stories, and transformed them into manwha-style art. So far she’s created an adorable Alice in Wonderland, a creepy Little Red Riding Hood, a lovely Snow Queen… and an absolutely killer Furiosa. You can see more of her work here, on her blog, and on Twitter!

Morning Roundup is pleased to bring you the very best in internet links! We’ve got inside info on Inside Out, we’ve found something mystical on the Upper East Side, and the Warboys go to the Opera!

[Plus, the many metal deaths of Middle-earth.]

Never Trust a Red-Eyed Robot

ClickHole, which always knows us so well, has drawn a comparison we never considered: Cylons, the Terminator, and HAL are all different stages in the same terrifying robot evolution. We should’ve seen it in those evil red eyes, whether they’re humanoid, in visor form, or just one glowing, malicious, I’m-afraid-I-can’t-do-that orb. Read more, including Ray Kurzweil’s NSFW thoughts on artificial intelligence versus mankind.

Afternoon Roundup brings you sad news in Bryan Fuller-land, an argument for gun control in Hollywood, and a remix almost as good as The Picard Video.

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Hammer Bros. Won’t Let Homeowner In Kitchen Without a Fight

Apparently being a skydiving champion just wasn’t enough of an after work hobby for computer programmer Kjetil Nordin; he also decided that 800 hours needed to be killed crocheting this perfect map from Super Mario Bros 3. Luckily for us, Nordin’s friend AlexKingshill posted a whole gallery of close-ups over on imgur, so we can appreciate just how much work went into this Greatest Throw Rug of All Time.

Morning Roundup brings you a slightly late Father’s Day gift, the ten worst demons you really don’t want to meet in Hell, and a new story from Haruki Murakami!

[And John Oliver is never gonna give us up, or let us down.]

Let’s Give Lord Vader a Hand for Father’s Day

Father’s Day is an emotionally difficult holiday for Darth Vader, what with watching the mother of his children die of a broken heart, blowing up his daughter’s home planet, and slicing off his son’s hand. But, as this comic from Savage Chickens shows us, there was one year where everything fell into place. That is, Luke’s severed hand fell into some Stormtroopers’ laps and they made that Father’s Day the best one Anakin Skywalker had ever had. Check out the full comic to truly appreciate this tribute to the Empire’s Greatest Dad.

Afternoon Roundup brings you exciting Black Panther news, a sad goodbye to a comics creator who revolutionized one of our current favorite female superheroes, and a reason to be grateful for Jurassic World.

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Statues Having Fun with Superheroes

Living statue enthusiasts that we are, we appreciate all galleries and Facebook threads showing statues goofing off with fleshy humans. You can see Adonises practicing their “Single Ladies” dance moves, cherubim beating up unsuspecting people, and this statue of Mexican engineer Jorge Matute Remus grappling with Spider-Man.

In today’s Morning Roundup, Voldemort tells the Harry Potter books from his perspective, we experience the five stages of watching a Pixar movie, and Gillian Anderson teases us about the new X-Files premiere.

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The Entire History of Westeros Explained in 9 Maps

Although the characters in Game of Thrones aren’t aware of it, Westeros and the surrounding lands have a rich history that informs the current epic struggle we see in George R. R. Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire fantasy series.

To that end, Reddit user HotbrownDoubleDouble has created a series of maps based on the known history of the world of George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire which tracks the movement of the various groups and Houses in the series, from the millennia-old Children of the Forest and the First Men all the way to present day.

[Spoiler-free!]