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Emily Asher-Perrin

The Harry Potter Reread: The Deathly Hallows, Chapters 29 and 30

The Harry Potter Reread wishes that all work areas were equipped with blankets and sofas and things. The Harry Potter Reread would like to do all of its work from a pillow fort blanket hut.

This week we’re going to hug Neville and break into school. It’s chapters 29 and 30 of The Deathly Hallows—The Lost Diadem and The Sacking of Severus Snape.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

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Series: The Harry Potter Reread

Huge Adult Ideas Taught to Us By Weird Movies

When you’re a kid, the adult world is filled with mysteries. Adults talk about things that are literally and figuratively over your head. If the news comes on, you’ll catch fragments of conflicts that don’t make any sense. If you happen across films or books for adults, there might be scenes that baffle you, since you lack the context.

Sometimes the best way, or even the only way, to understand these huge ideas is through movies. Why don’t people want to live in a shiny new building? What is “light speed”? And how can responsibility ever be fun? Emily and I rounded up a few movies that helped us figure out these huge concepts when we were kids.

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The Huntsman: Winter’s War is a Hilarious, Retconned Mess of Fun

So, four years ago a film named Snow White and the Huntsman was released in theaters and… I didn’t like it. I thought it was sloppy and that the eponymous leads had zero chemistry and that some of the dialogue needed to be cleansed by fire. (That “iron will writhe inside itself” rally-the-army speech still gives me hives whenever I hear it.)

It has a sequel now. And for some reason someone decided to plant the sequel firmly in “fun bad movie” territory. As a result, The Huntsman: Winter’s War works, albeit goofily.

Spoilers for the whole film below.

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My Childhood Love Letter to Bagheera, Reliable Panther Extraordinaire

When I was a kid (like a kid kid who was under the age of ten), I had a very specific pet peeve regarding the entertainment that I consumed. It centered around the inevitable bashing of any character who showed an inclination toward logic, pragmatism, and worry. My thirst for adventure—oddly—developed gradually, over time. As a very small human, I had an overly-developed sense of caution about the world, and so I was drawn to characters who looked before leaping, who made plans, who considered dangers.

What I’m trying to say is, I hated Disney’s The Jungle Book because no one listened to Bagheera.

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The Harry Potter Reread: The Deathly Hallows, Chapters 27 and 28

The Harry Potter Reread is mulling over the term “lightheaded.” When you are lightheaded, does your head actually feel light? When I feel lightheaded, it’s more spinny. But “spinnyheaded” would be a truly ridiculous word.

This week we’re going to jump off a dragon into a lake and finally figure out who that blue eye belongs to. It’s chapter 27 and 28 of The Deathly Hallows—The Final Hiding Place and the Missing Mirror.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Series: The Harry Potter Reread

The Harry Potter Reread: The Deathly Hallows, Chapters 25 and 26

The Harry Potter Reread has an odd ache in its pinky for no good reason at all. It would like to apply for a robot body, please.

This week we’re gonna make a very scary plan and then enact that scary plan. It’s chapters 25 and 26 of The Deathly Hallows—Shell Cottage and Gringotts.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Series: The Harry Potter Reread

The Harry Potter Reread: The Deathly Hallows, Chapters 23 and 24

The Harry Potter Reread has heard many parodies to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air rap in the past week, and is curious about this strange turn of events.

This week we’re getting captured by the enemy and losing a very dear friend. It’s a doozy. We’re up to chapters 23 and 24 of The Deathly Hallows—Malfoy Manor and The Wandmaker. (These are loooooong chapters, so beware.)

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Series: The Harry Potter Reread

The Single Most Important Film of My Childhood: Flight of the Navigator

When you’re a child, you imbibe a plethora of entertainment that often helps shape the core of your personality. Some of that entertainment is wildly popular, but some, you find, doesn’t always stand the test of time. You know, like Street Sharks. (My wife insists this was a thing. I have no memory of it whatsoever.)

Flight of the Navigator is one of those films for me. When I bring it up, I’m often met with vacant stares or vague recollections. There aren’t many people reaching out to grab my hands, screaming, “Oh my god THAT movie! I LOVE that movie!” But nevertheless, I will adore it with every breath in my body unto the end of time. And unlike most of those odd Disney live action films of the 70s and 80s, Flight of the Navigator seems to get better with age.

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The Harry Potter Reread: The Deathly Hallows, Chapters 21 and 22

The Harry Potter Reread needs to resole its shoes. But then it has to deal with waiting for the shoes to be resoled. It needs to get over this, and go to a cobbler.

This week we’re going to finally figure out what that weird symbol means, and then we’re going to flee for our lives! It’s chapters 21 and 22 of The Deathly Hallows—The Tale of the Three Brothers and the Deathly Hallows.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Series: The Harry Potter Reread

What Could Ben Affleck’s Batman Movie Be About?

Yesterday, William Morris Endeavor co-CEO Patrick Whitesell mentioned in an interview that Ben Affleck won’t be hanging up his Caped Crusader cowl for a good long time: “He’s contracted to do at least Justice League One and Two, so at least three times wearing the cape. There’s a script that he’s written that is a really cool [Batman] idea, so that’s out there as an option.”

There have been rumors of a standalone Batman movie since last year’s San Diego Comic-Con, when it was reported that Affleck was developing a project with DC Comics Chief Creative Officer Geoff Johns. But hearing that Affleck has a hand in the writing makes us wonder—what kind of story are they looking to tell?

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Cloned, Recruited, and Kidnapped: Military Evolution in the Star Wars Universe

Is it weird to acknowledge that Emperor Palpatine has the most ethically formed army of “bad guys” in Star Wars? It feels weird to say that. I feel strange now. Ick.

I mean, as a Chancellor to the Old Republic, he was responsible for the creation of an army of clones who were deliberately programmed without agency and trained to die for a governed body that they were barred from joining. But as an Emperor, he just plain old recruited. For an academy. Where you became a stormtrooper. So… the Empire was weirdly nicer than the Old Republic or the First Order. The Evil Galactic Empire™ was better at people.

Still feel weird.

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It’s Okay to Give Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice A Chance

So, the critical world decided that Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was an affront to cinema days before its wider release. It was dour, they said, a slog, a downer, a never-ending parade of bad action sequences done in a palette so muted that it was hard to see what was going on. With that in mind, I attempted to fortify myself against deep disappointment. Which means that I refused to take the film as seriously as Zack Snyder and Co. clearly wanted me to, and that I walked in feeling pretty cynical.

And I somehow walked out feeling really bad for this film. It’s not a paragon of cinema by any means… but this perpetuated train wreck narrative is throwing me for a loop.

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