Welcome to your second helping this week of the Battle of the Network Fairy Tale Shows! Please note that this here post catches us all up to the most current episodes! Huzzah!

Fairytale families are effed up. No, really. Single-parent households where at least one of the kids is being treated like crap. On Once Upon a Time, we got to see how the Snow White’s evil stepmother really got her to eat that apple, while on Grimm we watched as Cinderella got her revenge on her stepmother and stepsisters.

If you haven’t got time, here’s the short version: Once Upon a Time whupped Grimm’s butt this week. Severely. Whupped. (and this pains me to say, because I love Grimm!)

For those of you who have the time to spare, read on to find out why!

[An apple a day keeps the Saviors away...]

Heh. Heheheheheheh. Last week, Once Upon a Time was about a boy who used to be made of wood. Heh. And Grimm was about a whole mess of beaver. Heh-heh. Clearly, I’m a twelve year old boy trapped in the body of a 32-year-old woman. It happens.

You know what else happens? Sometimes I perform spoken-word poems about Grimm. Like this one.

Also, you can vote for your favorite Network Fairy Tale Show as Best New Show as part of TV Breakroom’s Monday Madness. Grimm’s currently in the lead (#Grimmsters are workin’ it!), but I know there are plenty of Once Upon a Time fans out there! #Oncers, #Snowers, and #EvilRegals? You’ve been served.

Now, on with the reviews!

[ "I move to request that the Grimm not cut off our heads for opposing him on this question...”]

Be vewy, vewy quiet. I’m hunting power-crazed dads and wesen rebels. Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh….

Last week, in the Battle of the Network Fairy Tale Shows, it was all about the hunter and the hunted. On Once Upon a Time, Rumpelstiltskin is hunted down by an important figure from his past, and we learn exactly who August Booth is!

Well, not really.

On Grimm, we’re thrust into a WWII-style political climate as a wesen rebel from Europe makes his way to Portland with a wesen hit-man on his tail, and Nick has to choose between acting like a cop and acting like a Grimm.

[“I’m taking back my son!”]

You’ve probably already seen The Hunger Games a million times by now. Read every magazine piece, watched every YouTube video. Have you listened to the soundtrack yet? Probably.

But if not, you should. The Hunger Games: Songs From District 12 and Beyond stands as one of the great film soundtracks of recent years. It, like T-Bone Burnett’s soundtrack for the Coen Brothers’ film O Brother, Where Art Thou?, as well as every soundtrack for every Quentin Tarantino film ever created, is a narrative in its own right, allowing the listener to know and live in the world of the film long after the screen goes dark. The album boasts talent like Taylor Swift, The Civil Wars, Kid Cudi, The Decemberists, Arcade Fire, and Neko Case, creating a rich tapestry true to the dystopian Appalachian core of both the Hunger Games film and the books.

I can’t stop listening to it.

[“You don’t talk, you don’t say nothin’ okay?”]

Apparently, Once Upon a Time was taking a longer vaycay than I realized. But it will definitely be back with an all-new episode this coming Sunday. Says so right on the website. So... there.

But don’t fret, pets! This week’s Grimm special is chock full of badassery, unrequited love, requited love that goes horribly awry, and Sargent Wu in his underwear, thus one-upping any shirtlessness engaged in by Renard, Nick, OR Hank.

[“It’s time we settled our differences...violently.”]

Well, Once Upon a Time took Easter Sunday off, so there wasn’t a new episode last night, which means that we have a Grimm Special this week in the Battle of the Network Fairy Tale Shows.

This is just as well as this episode was so awesome (and horrifically disgusting) on so many levels, that it really does deserve its own space. In “The Thing With Feathers” there’s relationship drama between Nick and Juliette; a teasing, flirty vibe between Renard and Adalind; an adorable crush vibe between Monroe and Rosalee; an abusive relationship between a cat wesen and a bird wesen; and the stalkerish beginnings of a relationship between Hank and Adalind.

Meanwhile, Wu continues his love affair with eating objects that aren’t food.

[“I hope you realize how dangerous this is....for me.”]

We’re finally back to an actual Battle of the Network Fairy Tale Shows as both Once Upon a Time and Grimm had new episodes this week. On Once Upon a Time, we actually get to see the Softer Side Of Regina as we learn exactly what Snow White did to make her hate her so much. And you know what? I totally get it. That crap would’ve turned me evil, too. On Grimm, Sergeant Wu learns to keep his hands off of other people’s cookies while developing a taste for sofa stuffing. Also, Monroe has a girlfriend! Oh, and there was a case, too.

This week, these shows taught us two very important lessons. 1) Keep your mouth shut, and 2) Keep your hands off other people’s cookies!

[True love is magic. And not just any magic. It’s the most powerful magic there is...]

One of the highlights of last month’s WonderCon was the panel announcing Felicia Day’s latest foray into New Media. She, along with producing partners Kim Evey, Wil Wheaton, Veronica Belmont and Tom Merritt, and Mike Richardson, has created a new YouTube channel with a full slate of geek programming.

This new endeavor, Geek and Sundry, launches new shows TODAY!

[Wanna hear about the slate?]

Okay okay, so I was wrong about there being a new episode of Grimm before last Friday, but there will be from now until May 18th! Ask Grimm writer, Akela Cooper, if you don’t believe me!

So, we have another Once Upon a Time special about “Hat Trick,” the episode in which we find out just what it was that drove the Mad Hatter mad.

Also, there are mad hats, yo.

[“The problem with this world is that everyone wants a magical solution to their problems, but everyone refuses to believe in magic.”]

There was no new episode of Grimm last week, so you’re getting a Once Upon a Time special this week.

But there was some wonderful Grimm news! Grimm has been renewed for a Season 2! It’s doing so well with a key demographic (adults 18-49) on a night that has been historically difficult (Fridays) that NBC had no choice but to give it another season! Its pilot did well against Game 7 of the World Series last year, for crying out loud! So, yes. More Grimm. #Grimmsters the world over can relax.

One can only expect the same news to be confirmed soon for Once Upon a Time, as it’s been doing extremely well ratings-wise, and its fanbase is rabid! (shout-out to the #EvilRegals and the #Snowers) Also, fun news out of the Once Upon a Time panel at Wondercon this past weekend is that 1) we will learn who August is this season, and 2) The Huntsman will be returning for the season finale! Yay, Jamie Dornan!

[Okay, let’s get to this week’s Once Upon a Time already!]

When I sat down to write about the Mockingjay symbol used in The Hunger Games trilogy, both the pin and Katniss Everdeen herself, the first thing I thought of was child soldiers and the Kony 2012 campaign.

Bear with me.

[Spoilers below if you haven’t read the entire Hunger Games trilogy]

The Battle of the Network Fairy Tale Shows has delivered two brilliant episodes of television this week, both dealing with how competent one can be when someone forces him/her to step up to the plate. On Once Upon a Time, Ruby learns what she’s capable of after a stint working for Emma. On Grimm, Nick is forced to step up as his most heroic self to rescue Juliette.

[Spoilers ahoy!]

I love watching famous fanboys geek out over each other, and I was treated to a heaping serving of it when I attended the midnight launch event for Brian K. Vaughan’s latest creator-owned comic, Saga, at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles. The free event was packed despite starting at 11PM and began with a Q & A between Vaughan and his former boss on Lost, Damon Lindelof, followed by a midnight signing.

[“This is how an idea becomes real...”]

This week in the Battle of the Network Fairy Tale Shows, characters on both series are exploring their deepest dreams and desires to totally different effect. On Once Upon a Time, we learn how Grumpy became Grumpy after his dream to be with his true love didn’t come true. On Grimm, we bear witness to Captain Renard’s deepest dreams, which apparently involve him preening before an adoring crowd in his silk jammies.

[“It ends here, and it ends now!”]

Welcome back to the Battle of the Network Fairy Tale Shows! Hopefully you’ve had a chance to recover from the void left behind on Sunday by no new episode of Once Upon a Time that was coupled with a painfully unfunny Oscars broadcast. (I think it’s official — Billy Crystal can stop now.) This week, I’ve got a Grimm special for you about an episode that brings us into the depths of Wessen Fight Club while giving us even more insight into the mysterious Captain Sean Renard.

[No, I need your wrath....]

You know who knows how to party? Doctor Who fans, that’s...um...Who. It’s taken me until now to recover from this year’s Gallifrey One, North America’s largest Doctor Who convention. Over 3,000 guests descended on the LAX Marriott in Los Angeles this past weekend at one of the warmest, most welcoming cons there is! There are already several reports on Gally up already. Allow me, then, to share my Top 5 Highlights (other than my fabulous Dalek dress, designed/created by Tara Reich) from the 23rd Gallifrey One Convention!

[There be Gally photos, too!]

Love cons, but hate things like spending money, or... you know... going somewhere? Well have I got news for you!

Today is the first day of Dot Con, the first geeky pop-culture convention that is held entirely online. Using the magic of streaming services — like Justin.TV and UStream — and Twitter, Dot Con seeks to bring the con experience right into your own home! It’s an intriguing idea, and to be honest, I’m surprised something like this hasn’t been done more often.

[Read more]

We have another “special” this week, as Grimm didn’t air a new episode, so Once Upon a Time will be standing on its own!

However, first things first. After much thought, I’m going to give you a first in the Battle of the Network Fairy Tale Shows. I’m going to change a show’s score. Last week, I was a bit harsh on Once Upon a Time in the Representation department with regard to the episode, “Skin Deep,” saying:

However, representation-wise, [Belle] was the one bright spot in an otherwise dull episode. No minority characters save a brief glimpse of a Sneezy pharmacist and two scenes for Lana Parilla, and the rest of the female characters weren’t particularly interesting this week.

I’ve decided to amend my Representation score, bringing it to a full “2,” because of the scene with Regina and Mr. Gold in the jail. I let the blandness of the Valentine’s Day Girls’ Night subplot blind me to the fact that this was one of Regina’s most interesting moments, and worth pointing out as a strong female moment.

[What Happened to Quality Television?]

Valentine’s Day is today, and Once Upon a Time and Grimm have each given us valentines of their own, each episode dealing with love in its many permutations.

On Once Upon a Time, we learn how Rumpelstiltskin responded to the loss of a Great Love; as well as the real story of Beauty and the Beast, or rather, Rumpelstiltskin and Belle, which is a love story that manages to be both disturbing and heartwarming at the same time. Grimm had an equally disturbing and heartwarming love story at its heart as we were introduced to a spinnetod, a Black Widow spider creature who, despite her biological imperative to seduce and kill men to keep herself alive manages to keep her beloved husband alive.

[“All you’ll have is an empty heart and a chipped cup.”]