We hope you enjoy this reprint, originally published in Starlight 2, edited by Patrick Nielsen Hayden, Tor Books, 1998.
In the year after Lorraine’s death I contemplated suicide six times. Contemplated it seriously, I mean: six times sat with the fat bottle of Clonazepam within reaching distance, six times failed to reach for it, betrayed by some instinct for life or disgusted by my own weakness.
I can’t say I wish I had succeeded, because in all likelihood I did succeed, on each and every occasion. Six deaths. No, not just six. An infinite number.
There are greater and lesser infinities.