The Ways of Walls and Words April 15, 2015 The Ways of Walls and Words Sabrina Vourvoulias Can the spirit truly be imprisoned? Ballroom Blitz April 1, 2015 Ballroom Blitz Veronica Schanoes Can't stop drinking, can't stop dancing, can't stop smoking, can't even die. Dog March 25, 2015 Dog Bruce McAllister "Watch the dogs when you're down there, David." The Museum and the Music Box March 18, 2015 The Museum and the Music Box Noah Keller History is rotting away, just like the museum.
From The Blog
April 17, 2015
Spring 2015 Anime Preview: The Hellish Life of a Pizza Delivery Boy
Kelly Quinn
April 16, 2015
The Disney Read-Watch: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Mari Ness
April 15, 2015
Recasting The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Stubby the Rocket
April 15, 2015
The 10 Strangest Transports in Non-Driving Games
N. Ho Sang and Peter Tieryas
April 14, 2015
An Open Letter to HBO from House Greyjoy
Theresa DeLucci
Showing posts by: Emily Asher-Perrin click to see Emily Asher-Perrin's profile
Tue
Feb 10 2015 10:00am

The King That Might Have Returned: Five Actors Who Almost Played Aragorn in Lord of the Rings

Viggo Mortensen, Aragorn

Oh, Viggo. Truly, you are the only Aragorn for us. Er, the only Strider. Only Elessar. Whatever.

Viggo Mortensen did a few things with his character that transcended typical actorly dedication; he only used his heavy steel sword on set, rather than the lighter aluminum ones built for stunts (and the stunt guys had the bruises to prove it). He was prone to dragging the sword around everywhere, and got stopped by the cops when he was spotted carrying it in public. He asked for more of his lines to be written in elvish. He once kicked a helmet so hard that he broke his toes, but still stayed in character for the take.

It’s pretty well-known that his casting in Lord of the Rings occurred late in the game (they had already started shooting), but do you know the other names that were considered? Because they’re mostly big-deal picks, and imagining any one of them in the role leads to a strange alternate reality.

Let’s imagine them.

[No! Not the orcs, not the ooorrrcccs!]

Thu
Feb 5 2015 11:00am

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 21 and 22

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire coverThe Harry Potter Reread was listening to some sweet tunes on its commute this morning, so it will begin this reread with a Lyric of the Day: My my, but time do fly, when it’s in another pair of pants.

We’re dealing with the aftermath of defeating a dragon and getting awkward about dancing. It’s chapters 21 and 22 of The Goblet of Fire—The House-Elf Liberation Front and The Unexpected Task.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Tue
Feb 3 2015 11:30am

Creating Headcanons: Everyone Does It

Tony Stark, headcanon accepted

I like really bad movies sometimes. And when I do, there are different roots to this problem. On occasion, it just has the right elements combined to get me on board. On occasion, it’s nostalgia. And on occasion, someone points out to me that said media is crap, and I give them my most puzzled stare.

And then I realize I’ve headcanoned it.

[I’m guessing this happens to a lot of people.]

Thu
Jan 29 2015 4:30pm

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 19 and 20

The Harry Potter Reread is gonna take the bull by the horns, walk it straight over to the castle gate, have it sing the guards a song, then rush the throne room and install the bull as the new monarch. It seems a reasonable way to conduct one’s business affairs.

This week we’re gonna read is really annoying article and probably fight some dragons or whatever. It’s chapters 19 and 20 of The Goblet of Fire—The Hungarian Horntail and The First Task.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Mon
Jan 26 2015 10:30am

This is Why Obi-Wan Lied to Luke Skywalker About His Father

Star Wars, Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan

The Star Wars films aren’t exactly complicated fare, particularly the original trilogy. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.) Luke Skywalker’s journey is pretty cut and dry, a solid line from farmboy to superbad in several short years. The Empire falls, the Rebels win, everyone is back on Endor in time for stormtrooper stew.

But how do you topple a galactic Empire, really? How do you get a boy who’s never known a life outside the sticks to become a galactic savior in the same amount of time that it usually takes to earn a bachelor’s degree?

The plan is likely less perfect than it appears.

[I’m coming with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me here now.]

Thu
Jan 22 2015 3:00pm

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 17 and 18

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire coverThe Harry Potter Reread as never been to finishing school, and thus cannot explain the benefit of being able to balance a book on one’s head. But the reread is pretty sure that it will never need to know that.

We’re about to get into some tense teacher fights and meet the wizard in world’s worst reporter. It’s chapters 17 and 18 of The Goblet of Fire—The Four Champions and The Weighing of the Wands.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Thu
Jan 15 2015 12:00pm

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 15 and 16

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire coverThe Harry Potter Reread just wants the sun to stay up for longer, is all. It doesn’t seem much to ask, having some daylight during the day. Winter is probably better for wizards.

We’re about to be illegally cursed by a professor and meet some international wizarding students! It’s chapters 15 and 16 of The Goblet of Fire—Beauxbatons and Durmstrang and The Goblet of Fire.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Thu
Jan 8 2015 4:00pm

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 13 and 14

The Harry Potter Reread is excited to have its very first post in a different year! It should probably get itself a cookie when its birthday rolls around. Mm, birthday cookie.

But first, to business! We are going to learn the importance of ferrets and have a questionable DADA lesson. It’s time for chapters 13 and 14—Mad-Eye Moody and The Unforgivable Curses.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Thu
Jan 8 2015 11:00am

All Tim Burton Movies Occur in the Same Universe

Nightmare Before Christmas, Tim Burton, Burtonverse

Tim Burton—a director often noted for his visual vernacular, his love of the macabre, and his dedication to heroic outcasts. A director who creates worlds where the mundane and the fantastically strange collide messily, often resulting in magic or terror. There is a certain flair, a flavor to Burton films that easily set them apart from the work of other directors and the majority of mainstream cinema.

But could it be more than that? Could these films actually exist in the same world—could all of them apply? And would that finally explain why every character looks like Johnny Depp?

[Before he came it never snowed.]

Mon
Jan 5 2015 12:00pm

Tangled, Brave, and Frozen All Made the Same Critical Mistake

Tangled, Frozen, Brave

It’s been over a year since the family hit Frozen graced screens, although you wouldn't know it considering how widespread its popularity has become. The popularity isn’t all that mysterious once you break it down; it has some seriously catchy tunes, and seems to be the flag-bearing standard for what Disney’s current line up is trying to accomplish, namely, producing stories about feisty, tougher princesses who don’t necessarily need a man (though that might be nice); stories about the relationships between women in all of their complexities.

But there’s a gaping hole in these newer films that will likely not be addressed in coming attractions. Can you guess what it is?

[They’re all a bit of a fixer-upper...]

Sun
Jan 4 2015 1:00pm

Why Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Beats All Other Indy Films

Why Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Beats All Other Indy Films

This is one of those opinions that is probably going to get me hauled out to face some sort of tribunal under charges of blasphemy. See, when it comes to Indiana Jones, most hardcore fans will say it’s Raiders, obviously. Raiders of the Lost Ark is the best Indiana Jones film, the only one that matters, and for the most part, I completely understand why. It’s our introduction to a beloved pop culture hero, Harrison Ford is a handsome dog in it, the fedora, the whip, Karen Allen being awesome, plus America has only recently gotten over its love affair with beating up Nazis in every WWII-era film it puts out. (Although considering last year's Inglorious Bastards, it might appear that we haven’t gotten over it at all.)

But I’m going to say it: I don’t think it’s the best Indiana Jones film. I think that award goes to The Last Crusade.

[Does anyone here speak English? Or even Ancient Greek…]

Sat
Jan 3 2015 8:00am

J. R. R. Tolkien Went into the West, but Gave Us Middle-earth

JRR TolkienIt’s January 3, which means that on this day, in 1892, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien was born. Undoubtedly one of the most influential authors of modern mythic literature, Tolkien spent his childhood as an avid reader and a lover of language. As a boy, he often preferred to invent new tongues himself or with friends. His youthful fancies informed his academic career, and Tolkien eventually became a professor of English Literature. In the 1930s, he wrote an article about the criticism of Beowulf that forever changed how the literary world academically viewed the poem.

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Thu
Jan 1 2015 1:00pm

Feral Ewoks and Other Disturbing Things That Star Wars Slides Right By Us

Star Wars, Han Solo, Return of the Jedi, Ewok food

Because the Star Wars films are largely thought of in the “pure entertainment” department, we tend to gloss over little scraps of information that fill out the galaxy and make it seem lived-in. Which is just fine for daily viewing, but what happens when you take a closer look at certain scraps? It’s not exactly pretty. Sure, the Empire Strikes Back features torture and dueling and epic defeat all over the place, but that, as they say—

Well, it ain’t the half of it.

[“It appears that you are to be the main course of a banquet in my honor.”]

Mon
Dec 29 2014 3:00pm

Thor and Loki are Probably Naked Onscreen Most of the Time

Thor Loki Tom Hiddleston Chris Hemsworth The Avengers

There’s a deleted scene from Thor where the big guy and his brother have a chat right before he goes into the grand hall to be coronated. (We all remember how well that works out for him.) He’s got the jitters and Loki is engaging in a good old game of brotherly banter to get Thor’s mind out of Lake Anxiety. The teasing eventually falls back onto their associative animals, drawing attention to Loki’s glorious, horned helm.

But… where’d he get that thing anyhow?

[It was probably a birthday present.]

Fri
Dec 26 2014 4:30pm

Defanged, but Not Declawed: Into the Woods

Into the Woods, Little Red Riding Hood

Into the Woods has been a point of concern to everyone who knows the show since the Disney and Rob Marshall set out to make it happen as a film. Why? Let’s just say there are many aspects to the tale that are not exactly Disney-friendly, particularly in regard to how Disney does fairy tales. And while it’s good to find they didn’t abandon the ugliness of that world altogether, they do pull enough punches to make it irritating.

[I wish…]

Thu
Dec 25 2014 11:00am

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 11 and 12

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire coverMerry Christmas from the Harry Potter Reread! (Happy Holidays all around of course, it’s just today is actually Christmas and they celebrate it at Hogwarts and stuff.) Whatever you celebrate, the reread hopes that today is a soothing affair with lots of yummy food because it’s currently cold and dark where the reread is, and these things sound appealing.

We are about to get on the red choo-choo train for the fourth time, and find out what the crux of the plot is this time around. It’s Chapters 11 and 12—Aboard the Hogwarts Express and The Triwizard Tournament.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]

Wed
Dec 24 2014 12:00pm

Toys Are People, Too

Winnie-the-Pooh, A.A. Milne, e.h. shepard

It’s that time of year when lots of people take their families and loved ones to the ballet and celebrate that relevatory Tchaikovsky work (that he actually didn’t think was all that great), The Nutcracker. Which got me thinking about toys, and how toys are often made into people, or at least people-like beings with thoughts and feelings of their own. And how heartbreaking that can often be.

So I thought I’d count down some of the best. The ones that stayed with us and played with us and made certain that, although we packed them up tight in cardboard boxes, we would never truly leave them behind.

[“He’ll never give up on you… ever.”]

Mon
Dec 22 2014 12:00pm

Legend of Korra’s Finale and the Problem With “Fan Service”

Legend of Korra finale, Korra, Asami

The Legend of Korra finale has come and gone, and it was an emotional ride for many. And while there’s been an outpouring or support for the ending of the show, there’s a thing I keep seeing around the internet that’s pissing me off, and I have a word or two I’d like to say about it.

It’s a lot of words, actually.

Immediate spoilers for the finale of the series below.

[Maybe it’s time to retire this term.]

Mon
Dec 22 2014 10:00am

I Hear Santa’s Sleigh: On The Polar Express and What It Means to Believe

The Polar Express

It’s sappy holiday story time! Are you ready? I’m ready….

So, Christmas at my house has always been a decidedly secular affair. In that way, I’m no different from a good portion of North America. My parents and I always loved decorating our tree, drinking cocoa, putting out the cookies and such, but the only time we ever arrived at a Christmas mass it was to hear my piano teacher play the service. I went to see one live nativity display as a teen because a friend’s cousin was playing one of the Wise Men. The only Jesus Christ I was listening to was probably the Superstar kind.

Santa Claus, however, was another matter entirely.

[A single bell…]

Thu
Dec 18 2014 3:00pm

The Harry Potter Reread: The Goblet of Fire, Chapters 9 and 10

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, coverThe Harry Potter Reread has never mastered the art of gift wrapping, but enjoys fancy wrapping paper. This is a problem. It is a waste of fanciness. Unacceptable.

We’ve arrived at the place where everything actually gets scary! It’s Chapters 9 and 10 of The Goblet of Fire—The Dark Mark and Mayhem at the Ministry.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

[Read more]