We found this on Tumblr, and now we cannot un-think it, and it hurts.
We found this on Tumblr, and now we cannot un-think it, and it hurts.
So we’re good with the Police Box doughnut, and Lime Lord makes a certain kind of sense, although we agree with The Mary Sue that it’s a terrible pun. But what makes the Weeping Angel doughnut a Weeping Angel doughnut? If you blink, does it inch closer to your mouth? If so, we’ll just sit here with our eyes shut until one leaps into our waiting maws... And if you would like a Doctor Who doughnut in your maw, travel to The Donut Whole in Wichita!
Morning Roundup comes to you, fresh from dreams of donuts and time travel, and offers you links. Ben Affleck talks about Batman’s anger! Patrick Rothfuss says enough with the dragons already! And Ursula K. Le Guin puts a bird on it!
Because even when you’re newly resurrected from your ghoulish half-life, sometimes you’ve got to halt everything and snap a photo because damn girl, you look fabulous.
Look at you! There’s no time to read. You have decisions to make! Like “what do I become if not an astronaut?” and “how is internet formed?”
But you are so popular! Like George McFly after “Earth Angel” is done playing! And everyone else reads. And it’s all they ever want to talk about. (So boring!)
Don’t worry! We relate. Here is a list of book spoilers for science fiction and fantasy books (and others) so you can feel like king of the party. Always know what everyone is talking about!
Nan Lawson is an L.A.-based artist and illustrator, who does beautiful, mournful portraits of pop culture icons. We love her Scully & Mulder, Pris, and Lyra, but this Spock with his caption “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” is truly perfect.
Morning Roundup has so many links! Including Shailene Woodley’s thoughts on Twilight, some of the popular culture’s greatest imposters, and news for Captain America 3!
Welcome to the YA Roundup, where we give you the low down on YA bookish news, gossip, new releases and cover reveals.
This week’s news covers the controversy surrounding John Green’s comments on Twilight, The Jungle Book’s return to film, the Kardashians’ book deal (we’ve given up on keeping up with them), and tons of covers to make your eyes glaze over and your wallet cry out for mercy.
Sometimes a movie fails to inspire. Maybe it’s too slow, or the dialogue is flat. Maybe the characters spend too much time looking at the horizon, knitting their alabaster brows, feeling things so complex and soulful that normal people fall asleep watching them. Maybe it’s my editing heart or just my human desire not to be bored, but I often find myself thinking “What this movie needs is... an OCD fisherman on a meth binge” or “...a few more rabid dogs” or even “...Satan, arriving on a bicycle to rule the earth for a thousand years.”
Since writing my book, which features robots in a prominent role, I’ve been obsessing on robots I love in the movies. A movie with a robot in it has never really let me down. I’m not sure I can establish an absolute cause and effect relationship here, but if vampires and zombies can be surgically added to beef up the entertainment value of familiar tales, then I feel robots can be applied medicinally to movies that fail to excite. Here are ten movies I can really see improving after a stiff shot of robot.
We know this one has been making the rounds on the inter-webs, but we really love this picture of Tom Hardy hanging out with a tiny Bane who will surely never learn to speak properly thanks to his hero-worship. But seriously, how awesome is this kid? How awesome is Tom Hardy? How awesome are you? Good morning!
Your collection of daily offsite links will answer your questions about who is more popular between Chris Pine and Benedict Cumberbatch, give you some solid book news, make you a better person, and more!
Nowadays, when you mention “vampires,” people tend to think of sparkly teens or pasty-faced creeps in collared capes moaning “I vant to suck your blood” in some generic Eastern European accent. While those might be the most iconic images of the bloodsucker zeitgeist, they’re not necessarily the best. Bram Stoker’s Dracula may have defined the vampire for the modern era, but although we associate the story with Transylvania, we tend to forget that Stoker* himself was actually born in Clontarf, County Dublin, which lends further credence to a simple truth: all the best vampires are Irish.**
We know what to say here. You know what to say here. So just go ahead and say. We can’t say it for you. Look at Ackbar. Look at what he’s holding. Okay, we’re all done with that. We don’t need to make the joke.
Your daily offsite links are totally a trap. Highlights include.
Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 2 (of ∞) continues to rampage as the number one movie in America, and while the success of the movies and books comes as no surprise, no one has addressed the most important question surrounding that success: Why?
Luckily, Lucy Knisley (illustrator and author of the forthcoming First Second graphic novel Relish: My Life in the Kitchen, and the webcomic Stop Paying Attention) recently cracked the complex mathematical formula behind the franchise’s mammoth success. She undertook months of painstaking research to achieve this hard-won goal, but she's feeling much better now.
Check it out in comic form below and walk away enlightened.
If you look at all five Twilight movie posters, you can see the tone slowly shift from almost painfully serious (vampiric Edward looming over frail Bella) to ridiculous (werewolves and vamps charging across the snow in the final battle). This change reflects the movies’ eventual descent into entirely meta self-awareness, making 2012’s Breaking Dawn, Part 2 into nearly a parody of 2008’s Twilight.
By the time that Twilight first hit theaters, Stephenie Meyer’s novels were already a literary and pop culture phenomenon. Fans breathlessly awaited the first movie adaptation; and like Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, it was almost entirely by-the-book. But as Summit Entertainment released each subsequent sequel, it became clear that the Twilight movies have two very different audiences: the “Twihard” fanbase, and those who see the films ironically.
I have tried, since stumbling out of the theater Thursday night in a bilious fury, to write an objective review of Breaking Dawn Part 2, the final movie in the Twilight series, and always ended up instead with a creative mélange of George Carlin’s seven dirty words. Today I have decided this is a movie that neither deserves nor needs my objectiveness, niceness, or professionalism.
So fair warning: this is not a review. This is a hatepost. At least once in every critic’s life they encounter a film that offends them down to their very soul. For me, this is that movie. Never in my life have I been so close to storming out of a theater before the end credits. If you want a review, please proceed to Natalie Zutter’s post. Otherwise, put on your troll hats and prepare to sound off in the comment thread. Also, spoilers.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2 opens with newly-vampiric Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) wrestling a mountain lion in mid-air and taking a bite out of its jugular as her first post-transformation meal. And the rest of the movie either matches or exceeds that level of absurdity. (Warning: There'll be spoilers for the big plot twist later in this post, but I'll give you another warning.)
Good news, Twilight fans! A full trailer for Breaking Dawn, Part 2 has finally arrived. Get your fill of Volturi vs. vampire action, Bella fighting, and that creepy creepy Renesmee child.
(PSA for non-Twilight fans: Good news! This is the last Twilight film.)
So, the most recently released image of Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises kind of got me worked up. The moment I saw it I think I said something to the nature of, “If I have to see one more woman posed with her behind in my general direction, looking smouldering-ly over her shoulder, I’m going to punch someone in the face. And you two [my Tor.com officemates] should be worried, since you’re the closest people at hand.” My co-workers generally prefer a non-violent environment, so I decided to work through this the only way I know how: with lots of photographic evidence.
It’s not that we all haven’t noted how prevalent titilation is where women in the media are concerned, but this pose in particular is everywhere. And why should that be?
Well, it typically does a good job of showing off all of a lady’s assets for one. And I’m sure if an actress isn’t quite so curvy, showing off her posterior (wow, how many synonyms for “butt” will I have to use in this?) sounds like a good way of ramping up sex appeal. It’s also a pose that tells you, in no uncertain terms, “I’m here for you to objectify me. It’s okay, you don’t have to feel bad about it.”
Now, there is no problem with women being sexual, of course. But when you begin to see certain trends over and over, it’s not hard to figure out who is the benefactor of the imagery. Also important to note, this doesn’t happen to men with anywhere near the same frequency.
And it happens all the time. Observe:
What’s next for the beleaguered book publishing business? At a time when the industry is facing unprecedented upheaval, along comes the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy by E.L. James to make matters even more interesting. What lessons are we meant to learn from the success of Fifty Shades? Is it that sex still sells in conservative America, or that we can still be surprised by the power of ebooks to upset the market? Or is it that America may be ready for traditionally published works of fan fiction?
By now, Fifty Shades’ fan fiction origins are widely known. The books grew out of a work of Twilight fan fiction, originally titled “Master of the Universe.” The question of how closely Fifty Shades hewed to “Master” seems to have been put to rest by an analysis done by Jane Litte of Dear Author.com that compared the texts of the two works and found they were virtually identical.
Not content to have all the archery action taken by Katniss, Hawkeye, and Merida, Oliver Queen has thrown his Robin Hood-ish cap into the ring. The CW is likely hoping the new Green Arrow show will capture the attention of the same viewers that kept Smallville for ten years.
What else did we find yesterday? A carefully selected group of offsite links awaits you. Swoosh.
The current Wars vs. Trek smackdown via Lord Bill and Lady Carrie might be in extremely poor taste (and also hilarious), but it has ended in peace at last — peace brokered by the ever-classy George Takei. Rather than address the two opponents and demand their truce, he has pointed out that we fans of all things named with “Star” have a far greater enemy to face: sparkling vampires.
Stubby the Rocket is the mascot of Tor.com and once had a crewmember that sounded like George Takei and refused to say “Oh my.” So frustrating.
There’s a joke twittering around the Internet that pokes fun at Twilight and sequels, by characterizing them as a young girl’s tough choice between necrophilia and bestiality.
Zing! Though I never got around to reading Stephenie Meyer and her multi-volume vampire cycle, I absorbed enough, mostly from this Lucy Knisley cartoon, to get the joke. I’ve also picked up a few recurring complaints about the series over the years. I’ve heard people of the middle-aged variety saying the writing isn’t very good, the characters are about as deep as saucers, that the novels aren’t necessarily shining beacons of feminist literature. Also, the term “abstinence porn” came up.