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When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

Reactor

You may love Vin Diesel as Baby Groot in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 come May, but a month before that you’re going to be screaming at him for betraying his FAMILY in The Fate of the Furious. The eighth installment of the classic non-holiday movie franchise we watch over the holidays sees Dom Toretto turn against everyone he holds dear because of something to do with Charlize Theron being a badass car hacker. Whose name is Cipher. You can already get a sense of what you’re getting into just from that, but the latest trailer also has tanks, a submarine, and… is that The Rock versus a torpedo??

Also cars, because this franchise knows you’re here for the absurd car stunts. In this case, that’s Cipher hacking into thousands of cars in the city to basically recreate Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds with automobiles, though Vin Diesel looks incredibly bored during most of these bonkers demonstrations. Except for when he yells “I GOT NO CHOICE” and oooh, what did you do to him, Charlize?

Hang on to your ass and watch the latest trailer, which also features “tea’n’crumpets-eatin’ criminal” Jason Statham and lots of adrenaline-fueled laughter:

Find out The Fate of the Furious on April 14, or as we wish it were called, F8 of the Furious.

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Stubby the Rocket

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