Some brilliant tumblrers have deduced the names of the four Houses at “American Hogwarts,” aka the wizarding world’s North American school, Ilvermorny! I’m guessing an industrious alum of the school went on to a lucrative marketing career at Old Spice—how else to explain those delightfully absurdist commercials?
This is seriously affecting my head-canon. I mean, it stands to reason that the American wizarding school would somewhat ape the structure of its British counterpart (just look at all the muggle universities that modeled themselves on Oxford…), but I kind of love that these houses have a distinctly gritty, Teddy Roosevelt flavor to them—there’s not a nice friendly Hufflepuff in sight. Still, they probably sort of line up with the characteristics of the British houses: Wolfthorns, like Gryffindors, are loyal to their pack; Hawkridges are likely only slightly more ruthless in their pursuit of knowledge than Ravenclaws; Foxcrests are cunning and ambitious, without all that negative serpentine imagery plaguing Slytherins; and Beargloves would honestly rather take a nap than actually resort to fighting. So I guess we have our Hufflepuffs after all! Seriously, this all makes perfect sense to me.