Skip to content
Answering Your Questions About Reactor: Right here.
Sign up for our weekly newsletter. Everything in one handy email.
When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

Reactor

Ever wondered if you could beat up any of the main characters from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine? Wonder no more! Tumblr user Sheva The Gun has played out a fight scenario with each crew member (and then the other main characters) and come to an unquestionably logical conclusion in each case.

For Sisko:

End Fight Probability: There is a 100% chance Sisko knocks you out.

Sisko’s a survivor, man. He’s Space Dad. Why you even tryin’ to fight your space dad? Sisko has fought almost everyone he’s ever met and triumphed astoundingly. He literally punched Q in the face. He is a goddamn hero. You should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Sisko.

For Sisko’s writer son Jake:

End Fight Probability: There is a 250% chance his dad shows up and knocks you out.

No, Jake probably can’t take you. He’s a bow-legged writer type with weak arms and no practical fighting skills. But the minute his daddy senses something amiss, he’s gonna be on you like a beautiful, well-muscled [scent]hound on a scared, dumb raccoon who picks fights with children. Fight Jake at your peril, friend.

Check out the post to see your changes against everyone else. Ultimately, as The Dominion/Cardassians/Maquis/everyone knows: Don’t do it. Don’t fight Deep Space Nine.

[via Metafilter]

About the Author

About Author Mobile

Chris Lough

Author

An amalgamation of errant code, Doctor Who deleted scenes, and black tea.
Learn More About Chris
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
12 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments