Star Wars on Tor.com

Liveblogging Season Six of Star Wars: The Clone Wars

You know, I really didn’t want to finish this. At all. I think the only way I’m alright with it ending is knowing that Star Wars Rebels is coming, but even so, I’m going to miss these characters. I’m going to miss the prequels. If TCW has given me any great gift, that has to be the biggest of all.

Obligatory Note: Cursing, rage, instant reactions and misunderstandings, speculation, the works. It’s a liveblog, with that entails. You can find my previous liveblogs for seasons 1-5 of The Clone Wars here. Also, I threw in some of the wife’s comments where applicable…

Shorter season, which is just sad-making. But so many interesting things were revealed in this season. Elements that really made Episode III work in a way that it never did.

 

Star Wars: The Clone Wars, The Unknown

The Unknown

“Twin sister Jedi masters”? Yes, please.

I love when Anakin deflects things with his lightsaber like it’s a baseball bat.

Uh-oh. Clone trooper getting his Order 66 brainwashing ahead of schedule?

Ugh, cyborg spider dude.

It’s like the clone version of “All work and no play makes…”

So they are actually getting into this. It was a result of programming by Palpatine and Dooku. Will we get any more specific? I hope so.

So the buzz droids were way more useful there than I’ve ever seen them be.

Animation quality is way up this season. The scope, shot consideration, it’s all bigger, and fancier and gorgeous-er.

“That’s why he’s the ARC trooper.” Aw, Rex, you sure know how to butter a guy up.

 

Conspiracy

No, don’t go Rex! Stay with Fives, you know it’s gonna get weird here.

Shaak Ti, that was not comforting.

“I’m sorry, I have always wanted to have human feelings. But I do not! Goodbye!” Best. Droid. Ever.

This Kaminoan doctor lady is scaaaaaary.

So the Kaminoans have been in on this FROM THE BEGINNING? Yikes.

Sifo Dyas? We’re finally going to find out what that weirdo aside was all about?

Fives just out-logiced a droid on its programming, Captain Kirk style. +5 points.

So they’re clearly not going to find about the inhibitor chip, or at least not that all the clones have it. So how is this gonna work.

Shaak Ti, WHY DID YOU TELL PALPATINE ABOUT IT?

 

Fugitive

Kaminoan doctor made the funniest face at Fives accusations.

Man, good thing you made friends with that droids, Fives. He just saved your ass.

and that was a Last Crusade line. AZ makes a great Henry Jones Sr.

Oof, Fives no, you don’t want to get the surgery too, nnoooooo.

Fives is gonna die, and Imma be sad.

I reeeaaaalllly wanna know what the deal is with Sifo Dyas.

Any time anyone talks about going to see the Chancellor, you’re just like NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I love how they keep calling the fetus-sized clone troopers “embryos”. Like, they’re baby-sized.

I hope that evil Kamino lady dies. She’s the worst.

 

Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Fives and Rex, Orders

Orders

You know, Shaak Ti, you haven’t been very smart about any of this. At all.

Don’t ever close the blast doors. It’s how everyone will get away from you.

Poor bb Fives.

This cab driver is hilarious.

Why have we never been to the clone bar before?

Now gives Kicks a hug.

And now Fives is dead and no one will ever find out what happened because the one thing Anakin will never believe is that Palpatine did a bad thing.

A parasite? Really? Wow, guys.

 

An Old Friend

You know, planets that try to stay neutral in the war seldom do well… Just sayin’.

Haaaa, Padme doesn’t like you, Rush. And no one blames her.

Gee, the banks are on the verge of collapse? That doesn’t sound familiar at all…

Palpatine is into this “help the old boyfriend” plan. Which is probably a bad sign.

Right, Rush just happens to have all the equipment needed to shut down all the Banking Clan’s vault. I’m sure that’s easy to get hold of.

Man, he’s still trying to hit on Padme. I mean, I know she’s not married on the books, but I thought she was pretty darn clear last time that a certain lightsabered pal of hers was the only fella she was interested in. Like, he rescued her and everything. Glared at Rush all scary like.

Yikes. I bet Padme has lost more handmaidens than any Nabooian before her. At this rate.

Aw, shit. Good job, Banking Clan. Master Skywalker is here for his wife.

Wow, really, Anakin? Your jealous rage over this is amazingly petty. If I were Padme, I wouldn’t be nearly so kind.

This pissing contest between Anakin and Rush is gold.

And now they’re heading back to Palpatine. Great.

Turmoil in the Banking Clan sounds so grumpy and chill, it’s actually funnier than it’s probably meant to be.

 

Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Anakin Padme, Clovis

The Rise of Clovis

Palpatine is playing on Anakin’s jealousy by getting Padme to work with Rush. Which is great because Yoda can feel that across the room.

And then he sends Daddy Obi-Wan to talk it out.

Obi-Wan, you maybe could have worded that better.

Surprise, Rush has a parental sob story. And big puppy eyes.

Aaaand, he figured out Ani-Padme in about five seconds. Because they are THAT OBVIOUS.

And then challenged Anakin to a fistfight. Um, because you’re likely to be able to handle a Jedi Master in hand to hand. Sure.

I love how Padme is surprised Anakin loses it on Rush. Did she forget when he killed not just the men, but the women and the children too? Because I feel like that would be hard to forget.

Damn. We went to the dark place with Anakin not knowing how to handle emotions and Padme being fed up with their secret marriage, and the decision not to see each other for a while. This makes the events between them in Ep. III make so much more sense.

Palpatine is a total master here. He’s steering Padme to get Rush in as head of the Banking Clan. He’s just so good at making people complicit in their own downfalls.

 

Crisis at the Heart

I’m sorry, I’m just curious—how is it a good idea to take control away from a bunch of people and hand over the banks to one dude? I mean, those guys were crooks, but maybe you should hand it over to a few new people? A bunch?

Kelsey: Look at him! His brain is in his hat!

Ha. Haaaaaaa. So he thought that after accepting the Separatists’ help, he would be able to run the banks all by his lonesome? Rush, are you actually a moron?

Aw, Padme. Honey. Unfortunately, this is going to make your fight with Anakin look kind of weak on your side.

Why is no one bitching at Palpatine for endorsing Rush? Senate full of selective memory.

And then Palpatine has Anakin go “rescue” his wife like he doesn’t know how ugly it’s going to get.

Dooku just made Padme straight up murder a guy using the Force.

Okay, maybe I just don’t get economics, but shouldn’t the Republic have a Republic-only bank? To prevent exactly this sort of problem?

Yoda’s all, “Anakin, you were right about Rush, but get off your high horse and get in the game. You’re being a dick.”

And Anakin’s all, “Rex, save my wife, okay?”

“Never mind, I’ll save my wife.”

Omg, Rush, GET OVER YOURSELF.

Rush: “I didn’t do anything wrong!” Uhhh… well, you’re currently pointing a blaster at Padme’s head, which isn’t exactly making you look good.

Well, we know who Anakin’s gonna drop.

Alright, Rush did the noble thing. That’s good, I guess.

YOU ARE LITERALLY GIVING PALPATINE CONTROL OVER EVERYTHING AND THEN YOU’RE GONNA GET ALL SURPRISED WHEN HE TAKES OVER THE GALAXY, LIKE, HOW DID YOUR REPUBLIC EVEN SURVIVE THIS LONG, I WANNA BREAK SOMETHING.

 

Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Jar Jar, Mace Windu, The Disappeared

The Disappeared, Part I

The leader of Bardotta wants Jar Jar Binks. Alone. What is. What. I feel like I took psychedelic drugs.

The way that Jar Jar just talked about Queen Julia makes me think NO. NO BAD PLACE. I WILL NOT GO THERE.

Jar Jar just called Mace Windu his servant and now I feel so much crazier.

No, no no no no no, what, no, no mind meditate melding what staaaaaaaaapppp.

Jar Jar’s foot popped. Whut.

Wait, so these people have a super special connection to the living Force, and their queen has a soft spot for Jar Jar… which would almost seem to play into that hilarious theory that Jar Jar is the most Force-sensitive being in the galaxy.

Mace, the hell are you doing breaking in there, you’re an idiot.

And now the queen has disappeared. Good job.

We like getting our prophecies from people who worshipped demons in caverns deep underground. Like ya do.

Okay, I think, “Oh no, mesa disappearing!” is my favorite quote ever.

Uh, why are they ripping off Temple of Doom? With the temple with the cages and the lava? Is it because they gave these aliens Indian accents? Because that’s awkward.

Stealing the Force from people. Creepy.

Yeah, no one wants to mess with Mace Windu today.

Mace is like “Jar Jar? I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. And not just because I didn’t drop you into a pit of lava.”

 

The Disappeared, Part II

Okay, Jar Jar sassing Mace about what he can see from the ship is actually pretty funny.

(as Windu gives Jar Jar advice on anxiety) Kelsey: Mace, he’s not your Padawan. Me: I don’t think the real serious Jedi Masters can help it. They just do that to everyone.

So the queen is super connected to the Force but completely incapable of defending herself, apparently. Sigh.

Jar Jar, bravery is not running headlong into canon-fire.

Aaaaand, there’s a gundark.

Mace wants to haggle their vendor for their rides? Pretty sure you’re not spending your own hard-earned credits, Mace, so I’m having a hard time getting your annoyance.

MOTHER TALZIN YES COME HERE AND GIVE ME A KISS I MISSED YOU

Interesting. So they’re making a distinction between the magic that the Nightsisters use to access the Force and the beings that have access to the Living Force. Hmmm.

“Get the queen.” Or you could just, you know. Break the thing that’s going to suck the Force out of her. That might be easier.

Did Mother Talzin make that lightsaber out of magic? Because I’m pretty sure that makes her a boss, Mace.

No, booooooo, I want her back, bring Talzin back.

Wow, Queen Julia, you could have saved us a lot of time by just letting people know what was up.

 

Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Anakin, Obi-Wan, The Lost One

The Lost One

yay Plo Koon

Just realized that the clones call him General Plo. Maybe surnames work differently with his species?

Interesting. So Sifo-Dyas was on the Jedi Council before he got a little too bonkers?

Wait, the Chancellor can seal Jedi files? HOW IS THIS OKAY.

Yes, thanks Palpatine, I’m sure Yoda remembers when you were elected. Thanks.

Hey there, Vallorum. Awkward turtle meeting.

Yeah, Yoda. Sorry, I totally commandeered some a Jedi for my stuff. And didn’t tell anyone.

Palpatine can Force-choke people across the galaxy?!!? Uh…

And Obi-Wan and Anakin went to a drug den. Good children’s book.

Kelsey: Wow. The caterpillar’s really let himself go since Alice left.

Obi-Wan drinking martinis is my favorite thing.

Kelsey: Obi-Wan’s face! He’s all, “okay, Anakin. Guess you’re gonna be bad cop. You do you, Anakin. You do you.”

Anakin and Obi-Wan’s facial expression exchanges are the most perfect thing in this episode.

EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW. So Dooku took Sifo-Dyas’ place to order the clone army, but no one gets it because they don’t know he’s Tyrannus. Good. Things are make sense now.

Poor Anakin and Obi-Wan are so confuzzed and adorable this episode.

OH MY GOD, THE JEDI ARE COVERING UP THE INFO THAT DOOKU CREATED THE ARMY BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT’LL DESTROY PUBLIC CONFIDENCE IN THE WAR EFFORT AND THEY WON’T EVEN TELL THE CHANCELLOR, THIS IS ALL BRILLIANT, THE JEDI ARE DESTROYING THEMSELVES AND THEY DON’T KNOW I NEED TO GO HYPERVENTILATE INTO A BAG, EXCUSE ME.

 

Voices

Here comes Qui-Gon!

Qui-Gon’s giving Yoda a Force hug from beyond the grave. Awww.

The whole council is so confused by Yoda’s senior moment. They’re like, He zoned? He never zones. SOMETHING IS WRONG.

So the point is that Jedi had forgotten that you could merge with the Force and retain your personhood? And Yoda is sort of rediscovering it through Qui-Gon?

GROUP MEDITATION. HUGS FOR EVERYONE!

Kelsey: There’s a snake Jedi?

Man, Obi-Wan really loves Yoda. He is so unwilling to believe that anything crappy could affect him.

Yoda looks so TINY without his big old robes and stuff.

You must go to the Dagobah system! There you will learn from Qui-Gon. (Because he’s a total badass and maybe the best Jedi evor.)

Yoda asked Anakin to help him with his prison break. Even though he’ll get in trouble for it. Because they are FRAAAAANDDS.

Mace is all, What did you do??!?! and Anakin’s all, Go ahead. Put me in time out.

BUT THIS MEANS R2 HAS BEEN TO DAGOBAH BEFORE. IMPORTANT.

Force sparkles!

Kelsey: Qui-Gon is a burning bush. He is literally God.

And Yoda’s greatest fear is all his bbys dying. Crying.

So getting to project yourself after death is like a special sainted Force privilege? Hmm…..

 

Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Yoda, Destiny

Destiny

Poor R2 is really displeased that Anakin lent him out for this.

Pretty life juice planet.

Wow the animation in this episode is gorgeous.

So all these creepy ladies representing emotional aspects can teach Yoda to be awesome? I like.

She’s explaining the Living Force and the Cosmic Force and Yoda’s like, Yeah, I know. I did the reading before I came.

Shit, here comes Bizarro Yoda.

Kelsey: Bizarro Yoda is Gollum.

They’re like, No Emotions! And start straight off with lots of dead baby Jedi. Awesome.

 

Sacrifice

Time for cocktails on the Sith homeworld.

R2’s thinks this is the worst vacation ever. Yoda never lets him come along. Anakin always lets him.

Man, you need a pretty Goth sensibility to enjoy Sith decor.

Hey, Darth Bane! Wassup?

The chamber where Sith used to sacrifice Jedi? Wow, that got daaaaaaark.

Oh no, fake Sifo Dyas! That is one heck of a magic trick, Palpatine.

That’s gutsy. Palpatine has gone so far as to reveal where his hideaway is on Coruscant. Yoda would have at least known what sector to look in.

And he gets a preview of Dooku’s decapitation. O_O

And the Senate battle. Wow, this is distressing. And Anakin is clearly important in this vision Palpatine is creating, but obscured in his relevance.

So Yoda is willing to save Anakin and let them both die, but that’s ultimately not the choice he makes. Is the dividing factor knowing that Anakin has turned? Because if he had made a different decision even when Anakin went down that road….

There is another Skywalker?!!!? IS PADME PREGNANT NOW?

So is the Force literally telling Yoda to bank on Luke? Is that what just happened?

SO MANY QUESTIONS

I mean, metaphorically it almost seems like Yoda’s decision to save Anakin is a decision to fight for the future. And the reassurance that there is another Skywalker is telling Yoda that the future is already safe because Anakin’s legacy continues without him.

Whhhyyyyy is it over, I want mooooooooore.

*whines and cries and bangs fists on a table*

 

I have an endless array of thoughts and theories and wish there was, I don’t know, a monthly club where we could dissect what this all means for the Force and the Star Wars universe… but in the meantime, all I can say is that was such a ride. And that I could not be more glad that I watched it. Rebels is coming up, and I certainly won’t miss out on that first time out. (Ahsoka HAS to cameo in it, we never found out what happened to her and Order 66 would never have reached her, aahhhhhhhh….) The creative team behind this has nothing but my utmost respect. They made the prequels what everyone had hoped they would be, and I could not be more grateful for that.


Emily Asher-Perrin thinks she just might watch the show over again. You can bug her on Twitter and read more of her work here and elsewhere.

 

7 Comments

Subscribe to this thread

Post a Comment

All comments must meet the community standards outlined in Tor.com's Moderation Policy or be subject to moderation. Thank you for keeping the discussion, and our community, civil and respectful.

Hate the CAPTCHA? Tor.com members can edit comments, skip the preview, and never have to prove they're not robots. Join now!