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When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

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Despite its youth (this is only the second year!), Nine Worlds already has a well-deserved reputation as one of the UK’s best SF/F conventions. This is a testament to con’s commitment to accessibility and inclusivity, multimedia approach and rampant enthusiasm.

All of which is pretty awesome. And most important of all? Nine Worlds is a ridiculous amount of fun. Whatever you’re into—be it reading, writing, gaming, crafting, learning, arguing or eating—Nine Worlds has something for you.

Here are nine of the hundreds of ways to have silly amounts of fun at Nine Worlds this weekend, August 7-10, at the Radisson Blu Edwardian in London:

Cheese & Cheese (Thursday, 6.45 pm)
Is there anything as intrinsically wonderful as cheese? (Otters, I suppose.) The opening event at Nine Worlds is a three hour meet-and-greet that focuses on discussing cheesy literature and nibbling cheesy cheese.

Time Travel (Friday, 11.45 am)
Paul Cornell, Lauren Beukes, Claire North, Fabio Fernandes and Simon Guerrier have will discuss the nature and fiction of traveling through time. This panel has will already happened and was will be brilliant.

Archaelogical Worldbuilding (Friday, 3.15 pm)
If I remember my history correctly, the development of civilisation goes something like this: Now, the Spice Girls, the 1980s, our parents, wars, Steampunk, France, the Dark Ages, Westeros, more Dark Ages, Rome, Rome, Rome, Rome and mummies, mummies, Anasazi, mummies, mummies, David and Goliath, Ice Age 3, Ice Age 2, Ice Age (the only funny one), Dinosaurs, Grandpa. If you’d like to get a more accurate picture—especially for writers seeking inspiration—try this Monsterclass session with the Petrie Museum’s Debbie Challis.

Punk Your Nerf (Saturday, 1.30 pm)
In which you convert your favourite Nerf weapon into Lord Feathergelder’s Patented Aethero-Ballistic Travelling Field Artillery (Mark 2) (We don’t talk about Mark 1).

Food in Fantasy (Saturday, 1.30 pm)
Mark Charan Newton, Gail Carriger, Esther Saxey and Ed Cox talk about the important of food in fantasy. How do you use food to bring a culture to life? What would a dragon taste like? Why does Mark Charan Newton blog about his vegetable garden so much? These mysteries and more… (At the same time as the workshop above, so choose wisely.)

Zombies, Run! (Saturday, 6.45 pm)
The creators of the immensely cool fitness app gather to talk about how they converted a Kickstarter into the world’s most popular post-apocalyptic training regime.

SMUT SLAM (Saturday, 10.15 pm)

I’ve heard of a late night event
For those of a prurient bent
To hear five minute tales
That spared no details
So naturally, everyone went.

[18+ only, please.]

CAKES IN SPACE! (Sunday, 11.45 am)
Some events have to be in caps, and if you’ve ever spent time with Sarah McIntyre and Philip Reeve, you’ll understand why. This session promises killer cupcakes, space suits and singalongs. All in the guise of a creative writing workshop.

Water Dancing Masterclass (Sunday, 1.30)
Easily Nine Worlds’ most famous course, Miltos Yerolemou—also known as Syrio Forel—will be teaching the noble art of Water Dancing (aka how to poke people with pointy objects). Tickets are required in advance (see the website for details). We’ll be releasing two dozen feral cats in the hotel as part of the preparations. I hope they’re all found this year…

 

And that’s just nine of the convention’s 300+ workshops, debates, signings, parties, concerts, readings, classes, games and so much more. Whatever wonderful and geeky thing you’re into, there’s a way to indulge yourself at Nine Worlds. Check out the full programme here, and snag your tickets before it’s too late!

Come have fun with us!


Jared Shurin is an editor for Pornokitsch and the non-profit publisher Jurassic London.

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