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When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

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It takes a special author to inspire his own Halloween costume, and George R.R. Martin is now such an author! Martin himself found this costume and linked to it on his Not a Blog, so clearly he’s cool with this next level of adulation. Carbon Costume shows you how to put the outfit together out of fairly simple components, and points out that the initially baffling turtle is included because Martin’s “house sigil is the turtle, the only pet allowed by the housing projects in which he grew up.” So if you want a costume that is authorially-accurate, weirdly sweet, and designed to keep you warm on an October night, GRRM is the way to go! But maybe you want to replace the generic copy of GoT with a blank book titled “A Song of Ice and Fire Book 7,” just to annoy everyone…

Now, maybe you’re a huge Game of Thrones fan, but you don’t want to go as the author, and throwing on a medieval dress and saying you’re Sansa just isn’t good enough. And going as skinny-dipping Hodor is probably illegal in your town. In that case, might we suggest you go as… an event? Well, HalloweenCostume.com has a Red Wedding Costume kit that is sure to confuse everyone who hasn’t caught up on their HBO Go backlog yet!

So, there’s this. All you need is two friends, a willingness to be drenched in blood all night, and a tolerance for everyone you see nodding sympathetically and saying, “I guess the Lannisters sent their regards?” Oh, and each costume apaprently requires a Gallon of (fake) Blood. You don’t want to skimp—you have an HBO budget to live up to, after all.

We also suggest that you have another friend walking around behind you playing “Rains of Castamere” on an ipod or a boombox or something, and then a fifth person recording all of your friends’ reactions to your costume, so you can post them online!

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