J.J. Abrams Tapped to Direct Star Wars Episode VII

Did you hear that? The internet just got REALLY excited about Deadline seemingly confirming that J.J. Abrams will direct Star Wars Episode VII. They cite anonymous Hollywood inside sources, not Disney, not Abrams, not screenwriter Michael Arndt, or anyone visibly attached to the movie.

We initially took this with a margarita tub full of salt, especially considering that Abrams recently went out of his way in Empire Magazine to say that, no, he wouldn’t be directing the next Star Wars movie.

“There were the very early conversations and I quickly said that because of my loyalty to Star Trek, and also just being a fan, I wouldn’t even want to be involved in the next version of those things. I declined any involvement very early on. I’d rather be in the audience not knowing what was coming, rather than being involved in the minutiae of making them.”

Still, Abrams is no stranger to laying deliberately false trails, and since The Hollywood Reporter, Entertainment Weekly, and other outlets are now reporting the news as confirmed, it looks like an Abrams-helmed Star Wars Episode VII is definite.

And now the joking/theorizing begins! What are the odds of Episode VII opening with Han ramming the Millennium Falcon into Nero’s ship an impossible foe as Leia escapes with their firstborn child? Close your eyes and imagine Harrison Ford deadpanning, “You want to name him after your father? Anakin? That’s the worst!” Because it is happening.


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