The catchiest and cheeriest of all piano songs must be stuck in the heads of Hollywood producers somewhere because rumors are circulating that a full-blown Peanuts feature film is in the works for 2015 to mark the 65th anniversary of the beloved Charles Schultz creation. And while this movie will likely be an animated feature… what if it wasn’t? What if it was a bizarre live-action film featuring adults in the the roles of the famous characters?
Well, we think it would look something like this.
Michael Cera as Charlie Brown
Despite his abundant hair, the stuttering adorable Michael Cera would make a great live action Charlie. Plus, there’s just something about him that makes you want to push him around and/or watch him lament.
Ellen Page as Lucy van Pelt
This would be an awesome Juno re-team up with Michael Cera. Ellen Page would pull that football out of the way like nobody’s business.
Jesse Eisenberg as Linus van Pelt
Though he’s another curly-haired dorky guy, we think the image of Jesse Eisenburg sucking on this thumb whilst clutching a blanket is ideal for the man who really put Mark Zuckerberg on the map.
Chloe Grace Moretz as Sally Brown
This adorable Kick-Ass actress was equally quirky and likable in this summer’s Dark Shadows. We think she would be a fun little sister for Charlie. And we love the kind of chirpy menace she would inevitably shade the role with.
Matt Smith as Schroeder
Yes, Matt Smith has the wrong hair color for Schroeder, but ask yourself this question… can’t you just see him bent over that piano? Being brooding and outbursty and kind of sexy? We may have just revealed too much regarding our feelings about Schroeder.
Mae Whitman as Peppermint Patty
Good ol’ Egg! Although Mae Whitman was known more as wallpaper as Michael Cera’s girlfriend in Arrested Development, she showed us some serious tomboy chops in Scott Pilgrim. Peppermint Patty lays in the middle of that spectrum in our heads, and we bet Whitman would play her perfectly. (We also briefly considered Kristen Schaal and Catherine Tate.)
Aubrey Plaza as Marcie
The too-cool-for-school Park and Recreation star could become an even bigger dork as the odd best friend of Peppermint Patty, Marcie. Her utterance of the word “sir” would likely find new hipster irony with Plaza.
This is is turning into Scott Pilgrim 2, and we’re okay with that.
Andy Samberg as Pig-Pen
A bit of an odd choice, but when you think Pig-Pen you kind of think “stoner” and, well, Andy Samberg!
Donald Glover as Franklin
Seriously, there was no other choice for Franklin. Glover, known for his galaxy-spanning depiction of Troy on Community, would end up stealing the movie.
Snoopy & Woodstock
This is a tough call! Should they be CGI characters or cartoons or just animals? Or maybe the movie is about finding them, so we only see them at the end? Or maybe the movie turns out to be a screenplay that Snoopy is writing in the real (animated) world? We don’t know! But we’re having fun imagining.
Your turn! What should a Peanuts movie be like?
Stubby the Rocket is the mascot of Tor.com. Stubby really likes yelling “Beethoven!” when pushed. Just FYI.
