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When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

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The CW and CBS both debuted genre offerings at SDCC this year. Ballroom 20 played host to both the CW’s Beauty and the Beast and CBS’ Elementary with wildly differing results. For one panel, the pilot was excruciating, and both the panelists and the audience members struggled to pretend that they genuinely cared. For the other, the pilot was a lovely surprise, the series stars were warmly welcomed and displayed wonderful chemistry.

Which is which? Find out after the jump.

Beauty and the Beast (CW)
Starring: Kristin Kreuk and Jay Ryan
Premieres: October 11

The Premise: An adaptation of the 1980s series starring Linda Hamilton and Ron Perlman which is, in itself, a modern retelling of the classic fairy tale.

The Pilot: Let me start with the fact that in this version of Beauty and the Beast, the “beast” is actually attractive. Apparently, the Beast is a beast because he was a soldier in Afghanistan who took part in a military experiment to create super-soldiers. When the test subjects became unstable and uncontrollable, flying into fits of rage, the government kills them all… except, of course, for our Beast, who escapes and goes into hiding. That is, except for the occasional saving damsels in distress. He saves one from assailants who’ve killed her mom in front of her. Years later, that damsel is a cop who runs into a hot dude whom she somehow recognizes as the Beast who saved her.

Let me explain something to you, CW. The whole point of the Beauty and the Beast story is that the Beast is ugly. This is important because the Beast looking like a Beast all the time affects who he is as a person and how he behaves in his relationships with other people, who tend to recoil from him instantly. His looks also help us see what kind of person the Beauty is, as she’s supposed to be fallling for him despite his appearance. His beast-ness has to be obvious, not something that happens sometimes, in order for the story to have resonance. This version of the story is less Beauty and the Beast and more The Incredible Hulk.

And then there’s the matter of a tiny woman like Kristin Kreuk kicking the crap out of two huge men and their henchwoman without a gun. Catherine isn’t a superhero (or a Slayer), nor does she have magic powers. Now, I love “ass-kicking women” as much as the next person, but Catherine’s a cop, not a ninja. The big fight scene in the middle of the pilot looks cool, but was so ridiculously unrealistic that it pulled me out of the story.

And the accents. Oh, the New York accents. Or should I say “Noo Yawk.” Here’s a tip, Hollywood. While some New Yorkers do have that stereotypical “Noo Yawk” accent, most don’t and haven’t since newsboys in the 1930s were singing about going on strike. In the Beauty and the Beast pilot, everyone sounded like they were trying their best impressions of Marissa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. It made me laugh — when I wasn’t crying.

The show’s one redeeming quality? The fact that it centers around two female detectives. Two female police partners is a rarity in television, and it was cool to watch the two ladies on this show interact. However, cringe-worthy dialogue, mediocre performances, and just… the sheer CW-ness of it all make this a show you can skip without fear. That is, unless you enjoy torturing yourself.

The Panel: The vibe in the room was already uncomfortable as Ballroom 20 wasn’t even close to full for Beauty and the Beast. After the poor pilot, it got even more uncomfortable as both the panelists and the audience struggled to pretend that they cared, so that the hour-long time suck wouldn’t feel like a complete waste. And most of the questions in some way referenced the fact that Kreuk was on Smallville.

The Verdict: The swag the CW gave attendees was better than the actual show.

 

Elementary (CBS)
Starring: Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu
Premieres: September 27

The Premise: Sherlock Holmes is a former police consultant and drug addict who’s arrived in New York from London after a mysterious tragic event. His father has hired Joan Watson to be his sober companion for a six-week stint and integrate him into life after rehab. They both soon realize that what they each need to heal from their physical and psychological wounds is to solve crimes together.

The Pilot: I’m only going to say this one time, so I hope you’re paying attention…

This is NOT a “rip-off” of Steven Moffat’s Sherlock. As a huge fan of the BBC’s Sherlock, I can tell you that this is a totally different show with only a protagonist in common. Moffat didn’t invent Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle did, and it’s because of him that Holmes is such an intriguing, multi-faceted character that he can withstand multiple, divergent interpretations. Whereas Cumberbatch’s Holmes is a self-proclaimed sociopath, Miller’s Holmes is afraid of human connection. As Watson says, “You can connect to people. It just frightens you.”

Much ado has been made of Watson being a woman, and having seen the pilot I have to say that it’s a refreshing change. Joan Watson is a perfect partner for this brilliant but insecure Sherlock, and what’s even more wonderful is that there’s nothing sexual about their relationship. It’s nurturing and intimate, yes, but not romantic. Miller and Liu have amazing chemistry, and I think it will be fun to watch them grow and evolve as a duo.

Something that’s gotten less attention, but has a lot to do with what I think makes this pilot successful, is relocating Holmes to New York. Having this quintessentially British character living in the United States is an intriguing choice. Taking Holmes out of his element, both with his new sobriety and his new city, will potentially do some great things for the character and allow him to evolve in ways that a mere modern day makeover alone can’t do. Also, Watson is a Mets fan, which makes me extremely happy! It makes a lot of sense, too, character-wise that Watson would root for an underdog New York team.

Miller makes a fascinating Sherlock and Liu excels as Watson. The take on these two is more emotional without sacrificing the cerebral, and the writing of the pilot was equal parts suspenseful, intelligent, and heartbreaking.

The Panel: The Elementary panel took place immediately after the Beauty and the Beast panel, and people filled in all the empty seats. Miller and Liu were warmly welcomed by the crowd, and both the pilot and Liu-As-Watson was greeted with cheers.

The Verdict: If you’re a Sherlock Holmes fan, or even if you’re not, I encourage you to give this pilot a try when it airs in September. There’s room for more than one modern-day Sherlock on television, and Elementary provides an intriguing addition.


Teresa Jusino hopes that Kristin Kreuk has no trouble finding another job once her current show is inevitably cancelled. Her Feminist Brown Person take on pop culture has been featured on websites like ChinaShopMag.com, PinkRaygun.com, Newsarama, and PopMatters.com. 2012 will see Teresa’s work in two upcoming non-fiction anthologies, and her “Moffat’s Women” panel will be featured at Geek Girl Con in August! For more on her writing, Get Twitterpated with Teresa, “like” her on Facebook, or visit her at The Teresa Jusino Experience.

About the Author

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Teresa Jusino

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Teresa Jusino was born the day Skylab fell. Coincidence? She doesn't think so. A native New Yorker, Jusino has been telling stories since she was three years old, and she wrote a picture book in crayon in nursery school. However, nursery school also found her playing the angel Gabriel in a Christmas pageant, and so her competing love of performing existed from an early age. Her two great loves competed all the way through early adulthood. She attended NYU's Tisch School of the Arts where she majored in Drama and English Literature, after which she focused on acting, performing in countless plays and musicals in and around New York City, as well as short films, feature length independent films, and the one time she got to play an FBI agent in a PBS thing, which she thought was really cool, because she got to wear sunglasses and a dark suit and look badass. Eventually, producing was thrown into the mix. For four years, she was a company member and associate producer for a theater company called Stone Soup Theater Arts. She also produced a musical in which she also performed at Theater For the New City called Emergency Contraception: The Musical! by Sara Cooper, during which she ended every performance covered in fake blood. Don't ask. After eight years of acting, Jusino decided that she missed her first love – writing – and in 2008 decided to devote herself wholly to that pursuit. She has since brought her "feminist brown person" perspective to pop culture criticism at such diverse sites as Tor.com, ChinaShop Magazine, PopMatters, Newsarama, Pink Raygun, as well as her own blog, The Teresa Jusino Experience (teresajusino.wordpress.com), and her Tumblr for feminist criticism, The Gender Blender (tumblwithteresa.tumblr.com). She is also the editor of a Caprica fan fiction site called Beginning of Line (beginningofline.weebly.com), because dammit, that was a good show, and if SyFy won't tell any more of those characters' stories, she'll do it herself. Her travel-writer alter ego is Geek Girl Traveler, and her travel articles can be followed at ChinaShop while she herself can be followed on Twitter (@teresajusino). Her essay, "Why Joss is More Important Than His 'Verse" can be found in the book Whedonistas: A Celebration of the Worlds of Joss Whedon By the Women Who Love Them (Mad Norwegian Press). In addition to her non-fiction, Jusino is also a writer of fiction. Her short story, December, was published in Issue #24 of the sci-fi literary journal, Crossed Genres. A writer of both prose and film/television scripts, she relocated to Los Angeles in September 2011 to give the whole television thing a whirl. She'll let you know how that goes just as soon as she stops writing bios about herself in the third person.
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