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When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

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This week on True Blood, the ball keeps rolling as everyone takes their first steps on new courses. This puts Eric, Sookie, Alcide, and Bill on the hunt for Russell, Lafayette stomps some shade-throwing saints, and Tara has maybe the tiniest flicker of a smile cross her face. It also puts Jason in a He-Man onesie. Incredible.

But much better than Joe Manganiello’s abs (frankly, I’m ab-fatigued. That guy is everywhere lately) was the long-awaited return of Russell Edgington.

Those waiting to see Sookie and Alcide get it on are going to have to wait a bit longer thanks to one too many Orange Marzipans, but at least we got to see some skin. And vomit. Sookie is even adorable when she hurls. I love her but I also kind of hate her. Eric’s little “Alcide, you sure know how to treat a lady,” reminds me of early-season Eric, when he’d just show up and be a smarmy dick. All this made tonight’s opener one of my favorites.

This episode was a whole ten minutes shorter than usual. Therefore, a shorter post for tonight. Some reactions:

TARA and JESSICA
“If I wanted to look like a drag queen, I would’ve raided Lafayette’s closet.” Yeah, she looks good in that corset, but it’s so no Tara. Then again, Tara did the big hair and blue eyeshadow to match it, so she’s gotta be having a little dress-up fun. Trying on her new life. Does Tara really have to stick with Pam? Maybe for the time being as she adjusts, but would Pam make their relationship one of permanent indentured servitude?

Hoyt looks absolutely ridiculous as a pseudo-goth, with that babyface and Hot Topic clothes and depseration coming off of him like stink lines on a cartoon character. Oh, okay. Tara will still hook up with him now that he’s totally wrong for her. Guess somethings don’t change after your death. That was such a dumb move on her part. Yeah, yeah, she can’t control her urges as well as an older vampire, but she knew enough to assess that she’s got no friends. So why would she hook up with her new friend’s ex? Bad form. But it’s going to be one hell of a girlfight.

LAFAYETTE
I wish Lafayette would stop screaming all the time. More stomping, less clutching of pearls. If it wasn’t for Terry, I’d say Lafayette has the most random storyline this season. What’s up with Jesus’ head? Is he trapped in limbo or something? What did he tell Lafayette’s mom? Why could she make out what he was saying where his son could not. (See: too much screaming?)

Props to whoever worked on the sound for this episode. Between Sookie imagining Eric, Alcide, and Bill as barking dogs and the little statue that told Lala “Life is sufferin’, bitch,” there was a lot of flavor to this episode.

SAM
As predicted, Sam beelined over to Luna’s house in the wake of their friends’ murders. I still don’t like this manufactured distance between them. Sam only saved her life. You’d think Luna would be more grateful. Well, now he inadvertently led her out of the house when super-hating snipers are on the loose, so there’s that, I guess. That was a tough scene to watch. After all of these seasons, I do still like Sam a lot. Poor Luna. I hope she lives, for Emma’s sake. What kind of person would try to kill a child? Wearing Obama masks and filming it like modern-day Point Break adrenaline junkie assholes?

TERRY
I did some packing for Comic Con. So this episode felt about twenty minutes shorter for me since I refuse to indulge True Blood in this Scott Foley nonsense.

JASON
He’s very determined to find out what really happened to his parents. If it was a vampire that killed the elder Stackhouses, is he/she still alive? If it was a male vampire, has he slept with Sookie? That’d be a pretty out-there twist. Unlikely, but this show doesn’t make a lot of sense right now.

ANDY
Got to be seen naked again.

SOOKIE et al.
I like Sookie this season. I’ve always liked her unsinkable personality and it really shined tonight. I especially like her when she’s not crying over men. But really, all tonight was about waiting for Russell to return. And now he’s back and looking pretty damn strong. What is he going to do next? And what grabbed Alcide?

THE AUTHORITY
Now I’m thinking Salome was the woman who freed Russell from his tomb. Nora is just an irritating red herring. Why is she still alive at this point? So boring. What did Eric see in her? I admit I’m a little tired of Roman’s speeches, too. Maybe his desire to mainstream is too severe and it’s blinding him to the traitor at his side, but methinks he needs to leave that Authority compound soon because I’m tired of seeing the same sets. Christopher Meloni is great and giving speeches, but I want to see him do more at this point.

What did you think of this week’s episode?

True Blood airs Sundays at 9PM E/PT on HBO.


Theresa DeLucci is a regular contributor to Tor.com. She covers True Blood, Game of Thrones, and is also an avid gamer. She has also covered tech and TV for Geektress.com and Action Flick Chick. Follower her on Twitter @tdelucci

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