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When one looks in the box, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the cat.

Reactor

My boyfriend’s flat is haunted.

He begs to differ, but I’m positive there’s a ghost living with him. The doors creak open and closed, and sometimes I hear footsteps in the hallway, only there’s no one there when I go to investigate.

The problem: I can’t tell whether the ghost likes me or not. I’m not sure whether the doors rattle because it’s expressing disapproval at me being in the apartment, or if it’s rushing to come join us because it’s a peeping tom and hopes to catch some action.

Normally, I wouldn’t care. I’d shrug and say, “Whatever. Bring it, ghoulie.” But my boyfriend’s asked me to move in with him. Do I want to move into a haunted house?

Yeah—total dilemma. Because, the thing is, I don’t like ghosts. I don’t even like to read about them. Is there a ghostly character that isn’t annoying in some way?

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not judging. I totally understand why they’re irritating. It goes with the territory. You’ve been killed unjustly or violently enough that your spirit is tied to the earthly world. Of course you’re going to be cranky—it makes sense. But who wants that around all the time?

Would you voluntarily move into a house that’s haunted, even if the ghost was mostly benign?

Or is there another paranormal creature you wouldn’t want to live with? Because for me, frankly, even a werewolf would be preferable. Well, maybe except for the shower drain getting clogged by hair all the time.


As a little girl, Kate Perry dreamt of many things. Like becoming a ninja. Dressing up in black and carrying a big sword? Seemed like a no brainer. However, Fate had other plans for her, and she studied Kung Fu San Soo instead. A Kung Fu Master, Kate now has more weapons than she ever imagined—including several swords.

She lives in San Francisco. Voted by her friends as the woman they’d most want to stroll with down a dark alley, Kate’s as likely to be spotted at the opera as she is doing tai chi in Golden Gate Park. Usually wearing black—in both cases. You can also find her at her website or on Twitter.

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Kate Perry

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