M. Night Shyamalan to Guest-Direct Lost Finalé.

In a press conference yesterday, producer and all-around money magnet J. J. Abrams announced that M. Night Shyamalan has accepted an offer to guest direct the final episode of Lost. Abrams states that while Shyamalan will be given vast artistic and creative freedom over the project, he will be given a loose guideline to follow as to preserve the vision of the whole six seasons.

Abrams went on to say

I was sitting at home, drinking some MacCutcheon out of cups made from hundred dollar bills, when I thought, dude, I have no clue where I was going with this! So, after consulting with Lindelof and Lieber to see if either of them remembered, I decided that we need to bring in some outside talent.

Damon Lindelof, co-creator of the series, interjected

We had to have someone who could really capture the mystery, tension, and . . . well . . . lost nature of the show, and I had finally gotten around to watching The Happening just before J.J. called me up. Honestly, I think the Island willed it.

Jeffrey Lieber, the third mind behind the hit series, added this with an tilted smile:

We actually tried to get Tarantino first, but it seems he isn’t welcome on Oahu after an incident with a chicken and a circus midget.

The response from fans to this announcement has been mixed. One fan we talked to said, “Like, it totally fits! I mean, Hurley is the kid from The Sixth Sense, right?” Another fan, when asked, said, “So, does this mean the entire Island is really just some private resort and the smoke monster is a mermaid?”

Unfortunately, we were unable to get a hold of Shyamalan himself for comment, but his agent assured us that “M. Night is extremely enthusiastic for this opportunity, and promises that no one will ever again think to add ‘And Found’ to the show.”

After the announcement, Abrams rose to leave, but paused when there was an overwhelming demand for some hint as to what the ending might be. He paused for a moment, adjusted his glasses dramatically, then said, “Maybe it was all just a dream. Not for the characters, for me. Maybe on May 23rd, I’m going to wake up and it will be September 22, 2004. Hmm, that gives me an idea for a new show. Is anyone writing this down?”

Richard Fife is not a candidate, nor does he play one on television.  If he was, though, his number would totally be i.  More of his rambling and some of his short stories can be found at http://RichardFife.com


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